Friday, March 6, 2015
The True Meaning of "Agency"
So this week has given me the true meaning of Agency and what Heavenly Father thinks and feels when we don't follow him and choose wrongly.
On Monday we had a great lesson with one of our investigators we is really ready for baptism but has family who is against it and is really holding her back. We talked about Faith and answered some of her questions about family home evening and prayer. I could see we really uplifted her and helped her feel more confident and tonight we will teach her the Gospel of Jesus Christ and focus on Baptism.
Tuesday There was a lot of snow and got stuck inside and boy snow in NC is bad. Everything is closed. Really only Wal-mart is open and hospitals or whatever. We tried to go tracting but really it was kind of dangerous. In a place like NC when snow isn't common not everyone knows how to drive in it. We mostly had studies and updated the map. I fell asleep reading talks and that wasn't so smart because was sitting at my desk.
Wednesday we were able to go out during the afternoon, but were able to have district meeting. we got a lot of new elders and a sister in our area and lots of great workers. Of course though when we got home because of the snow lots of canceling but the stake was planning to have food orders from the bishop store house and so we decided to help with that since it was last minute and probably not enough help. Really since everything was already closed we had lots of helpers and finished about an hour normal than usual. It was very touching to see all the volunteers and the leader of the orders were very touched. Our ride home (Stake relief society presidency) was so happy and felt the spirit there as we all worked together. It was great!
Friday was great we had another lesson with our newest investigator and taught her the restoration. She was kind of hesitant on the fact Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We told her that without that experience we wouldn't have the Book of Mormon she said she would read it. I was able to commit her to baptism. I was scared but i asked her f she would pray and read the Book of Mormon and found out for herself that it was true if she would be baptized she said yes if she found that it was true. I had to say it twice but it went well and we both left with a smile. We invited her to church and she said she would have to come next week. It was great! That kind of all changed when we got a text from her on Saturday night and said that she did what we said and she got her answer that she should stick with what she has. I was so bummed. she was really progressing and we were willing to paint and to give her everything like she said she needed and to show her what she needed and may be looking for. Of course my reaction was maybe i shouldn't have committed her to be baptized and that doing so scared her. I seriously am understanding the importance of what Agency is. I want to grab her shoulders and shake her and say you have found it stop doubting and just act on it. Increase that faith you are starting to develop. But that wouldn't be very Christ like!!!!
Another sad outcome of a good lesson was when we went to contact one of our referrals who asked for a bible. We taught her the Restoration. We planned to teach the Plan of Salvation. But we felt that we needed to change it when we got their. I was kind of freaked as since we had planned and practiced, but it went well and the spirit was so strong. She even recognized the spirit and said she felt it and that everything we said was true but she didn't feel like she wanted to change and that her and her family wasn't ready for her to make changes in her life again (sober for 10 years from being a drug addict and other temptations). Again we were bummed. I don't think we will give up. we probably just need to get our foot in the door more.
Saturday we tracted all day and finally had some sun.
Overall this week was very saddening. We had good lessons but bad outcomes. I can see the impact of Agency and why it's so important for us to use it for our own benefit and to learn. We never know what our choices really do for us until we have the outcome. The new sisters we taught decided to go a different way for now. I don't think that they have completely given up on the church and neither will we give up. We are to invite all to come unto Christ. We still have yet to complete it. Yes, Agency has made me hate it this week. But God gave it to us so that we can learn and develop what we come here to do. I may not know if God is preparing others who need it now or in a week. All i have to do is open my mouth and give what God wants for me to say. I am his representative and if he is going to trust me i have to at least keep trying and keep testifying. I hope y'all can have your own missionary experiences. I hope y'all now that this is where i want to be and i am so glad that i get to continue to help and enlighten the people of North Carolina. Some things i am still afraid of but everyday i know i am getting better. Everyday i am feeling the love of Christ and love from all of you. I never knew how hard this would be, but also never knew how enjoyable and uplifting it is to learn and be in this stage in my life. I get to pray to my Heavenly Father 10+ a day and learn to teach the gospel and the teachings my family and I have come to love. I am here because i know what it brings and some are searching for it and i just haven't found them yet. I might have times where i want to give up but from others who have given me courage i am able to keep moving. Thank you family and friends for the support and love you give me and the excitement you show to me and to the experiences i am having and i can't wait to share them with y'all. I want more experiences though! I hope y'all have a great week and lets all pray for no more snow. I have heard North Carolina Spring is the best!
Sister Tayler Farr