The Need for Investigators!

Hey Y'all,

What a week and another gone! congratulations to Katie King! (don't know your new name). I wish i could have been their, but i am so glad you did what you did). This week was a very long week. We didn't have any lessons with any of our investigators. We lost contact with one and the other doesn't want to cause anymore contention in her family so she doesn't want us to come over for a while. (at least we can come back and see her).

Tuesday we planned to go tracting for about 5 hours. I was ready to give up, but before we had Companion study we got a call from a sister in our ward and asked if we could help her do some stuff. I was grateful for her call even if we do need to find new investigators. Really i was glad to help. We got over their and cleaned the kitchen and then Animal Control showed up. They told us that they had a stray cat they kind of adopted and he got bit by a fox this past week and so Animal Control has been coming to try and catch it but the cat is just too smart. We didn't get as much done as we could have, but i was glad we were their to help while they had a hard time with the cat situation. It was kind of weird. They have all been having a hard time and it really bugged me when the guys came in to the house with a gun. He wasn't trying to find a good way to get the cat (was laying on the porch). I don't know why they would bring a gun into the house let alone show it to the family. They weren't very thoughtful in the idea that the family loves this cat and wants to help him. It just bugged me. Glad their 13 year old was upstairs doing school work!

Wednesday was probably the craziest day. We had exchanges and this time I stayed in the area and Sister Behrmann left. I finally got the chance to ride my bike. I even got to ride in the rain. We were riding to the library and then i went the wrong way and realized i just made us ride an extra 2 miles. I realized just how much i don't know my way around Garner still. I felt bad. We never made it to the library just came back to the apartment for dinner. I did however was able to get us home and a ride to the church. We even got to see a less active member after we found out the member who came with us is allergic to dogs and so we came outside for our visit. It started to rain. Our normal visit with her is like 2-3 hours and this one was about 20 minutes! We did however got a lesson in and invited her to continue praying and to read her patriarchal blessing. She even is willing to get a blessing from the Elders. Then the computer at the church was being used my the family history class so we walked another mile to the library instead. Really it was a great day and i got to ride my bike, we finally contacted a sister from the ward, i got us back to the apartment, we had LOTS of exercise, and we helped someone come unto Christ! I really have proven to myself that i can do it on my own. I can be a missionary and be in charge even without my trainer. These last 3 weeks of the transfer better be a result of what I've learned!!!!

Well, Thursday we only had time for weekly planning and Friday we got to go visit some less actives.

Saturday was probably my favorite day of the week. We got to help and be a part of  the Emergency Fair. We had our own booth and shared time with the Elders. We didn't really get much people at ours but we had non-members who had booths ans their daughters kept coming back for more Book of Mormons and pamphlets. We gave the mother our card and told her if she or they had any questions or wanted to learn more we would love to meet with her family. We got to attend a small self defense class. We had dinner with the Holmes family and had Shrimp tacos. Really interesting but really good. We went to go visit one of her visiting teaching  people since we have never met her and my goodness she was so funny. She had her bird in the room and every time she would talk loud and we would be laughing her bird would make noise. She would stop mid sentence and say "Shut up Rigsby!" It was so funny! Or i guess you just had to be their!

Sunday was like any other Sabbath day. Except i was asked to do a role play on teaching prayer to someone who has never heard of it before in front of the entire class in Sunday School. It was scary, but i really think i did a good job and seemed really easy and not to hard. I was happy with the way i did it! I even got who was my victim to say that she wanted to come to church and to learn more. She said that she could see my seriousness and my sincere testimony. I never felt so relieved. I really am starting to see my improvements in my teaching and i hope it continues to improve.

Well, y'all! this was my week, i just want you all to know that i know that this ids where i should be! i know even though i may be homesick when i see my family and long distance family getting together and i am not there to be a part of it. I am glad that i am here to do the work of the Lord! I can see just how important it is and hoe much i know that it will go fast in just a blink of an eye. I have felt times already of giving up and wanting to go home but everyone at home are the ones who are keeping me here. Every time i am having a hard time something comes in the mail from family and friends. just this week i got a letter/ card from my old co-workers form my summer job at Rocky Mountain Health Care Services. I couldn't hold it in and i cried like a little baby. Thank you for all the support and the love you give to me and my family. Thank you for the countless prayers and constant help you give to my family. It really helps knowing they are being taken care of! I know that the atonement is real and that you can really use it any time and in any circumstance. This life is never easy, but God knows us enough to help and give us what we need. If we put in the effort and learn from our mistakes we are then capable of the most amazing things! I never knew that serving the Lord would be this hard, but never knew also how rewarding it is! I may only be gone for 3 months, but i have already learned this so early. I hope to see more lessons and experiences come from my Heavenly Father. I am not done and i am not done when i have completed my mission. I will continue to be a missionary and endure to the end. I work alongside the prophet and will until the work is done! Like what Jonathon said while on his mission! " Give em Heaven!"

Hope you all have a great week!!!

Sister Tayler Farr

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Sister Tayler Farr

The Power of Prayer

Hey Y'all,

I have decided it is a lot easier to write a letter to y'all if i do it day by day and then i don't miss things.

Monday was normal but i seem to loose more and more time. I think i try to do to much and not prioritize. That is my goal today. To prioritize and make sure i get what i really need to get done. I was actually living on the edge Monday night! We had dinner at a members home who lives on the edge of our mission. Weird! kind of funny! I was kind of tempted to drive to the edge and stand on where it changes and say " i am standing on both lines" like at Four Corners. My companion was not to happy and laughed at me.

Tuesday was a crazy day and not much success. We had Lunch with the Sister that has Leukemia and mostly listened and talked about Boys. Ha-ha. Simply girl talk. We made sure though to add some missionary work in their and talk about how she feels about everything she's been going through. I have never seen anyone more positive when it came to having cancer.

Wednesday we had Zone Training. It was the most spiritual, uplifting zone/district meeting yet. Each speaker really had the spirit and it was clear that they all really prepared and prayed about what they were to teach. One of our Zone leaders talked on being more trusting in the lord on the work and the other leader taught on church tours. To teach he gave all of the companionship's a room or something to do. We all had a role in our little missionary church tour. It was a very amazing experience. Who knew a role play could be so moving?-ha-ha. We talked on the nursery. When we finished at the Chapel. Our Zone leader asked us to go in to the Chapel and not talk and to sit and ponder on our relationship with our Savior and our Heavenly Father. When we walked in really and truly their was not sound and we all sat down. We sat for about 2 minutes and the spirit worked it's way through all of us. I felt so happy and i know that i need to have a church tour with investigators. I never have done it before. I was scared to do it in front of everyone. I kind of had to laugh at myself because really i have been going to this church forever and every church has the same rooms and meaning. It was easier. I noticed why the Chapel should always conclude. The rest of the church is important as well and a spirit builder for the when you come to the chapel. Investigators or whoever sees has a tour will end at the Chapel and see how significant it is and feel the spirit and know they are in the house of the Lord! I know that whoever comes to have tour can feel that spirit because all us missionaries felt it and it wasn't even the real thing. We even got the New initiative from the church. It is Because He lives. Its for Easter. The video doesn't come till the end of the month. I advise all of y'all to see it. It is amazing. I got to watch it before the church sent it out! CRAZY! That's a blessing of being a missionary. lol!

Thursday we were finally able to go to the mechanic to get the brakes worked on. I have come to see that people in North Carolina likes having really expensive cars.(Brenden and Cameren you would love all these cars here). We have finally finished weekly planning on weekly Planning day and so i think that was a great accomplishment.

Friday was a little on the wild side. We had change after change  to our plans. I even had an emotion explosion and that made it hard to get things done. I started to doubt myself and rethink my worthiness, Really this week has been full of Prayers! we did however finally see our investigator. We didn't get to teach her because when we got their she was cooking. We did however got to see her husband and find our why he doesn't go to church. (Bad experiences in the past) we told him that in our church we come to be more humble and those who come normally are trying to be better. We invited him but he didn't come.

On Saturday i finally told Sister Behrmann that i was having a hard time. She talked me through it and told me to talk to President. I told her that i feel that i have not completely repented of last sins and so i am started to doubt again.

I am worried that i haven't repented or haven't gotten confirmation that i was forgiven. I started to blame myself that i am unworthy and that is why we haven't been successful in finding new people to teach. I seriously love my Companion she is a great missionary and told me that it can't be my fault and that they all have their agency. She asked me if i felt unworthy to enter the temple for when i was endowed. I told her No and she said then its Satan and you are letting him win. Now that scared me and i have been praying and praying and PRAYING. I have never prayed so hard in my life. I prayed that God would help me to know what to do and to help take this doubt away. I asked him to strengthen my faith and help guide me to know what to do. I told him  that i want to be here and i want to be a missionary and i know that this church is true. I know that the Book of Mormon is the one book that we all can learn from and it can answer question we all need answers too. I seriously have never said such detailed prayers or just shown my gratitude to him. I haven't cried myself to sleep in awhile too!

Sunday was the best! since i have had such a terrible couple of days i again prayed that Heavenly Father would help me find and answer to my prayers and help me feel the influence of the spirit. I know that god answered my prayer. He allowed the spirit throughout the sacrament. I felt the spirit even more singing. We talked about the Holy Ghost during Sunday school and again the spirit was teaching me. Throughout the entire time at church i knew that God had put things the way i needed them. He knew i needed to hear the song and the lesson on the Holy Ghost. I felt him their with me.

The biggest thing that happened yesterday was after church i went to lay down on my bed and turned on a talk from Elder Holland "An Ensign to the Nation" ( Great talk by the way). When i was about to fall asleep i had this overwhelming feeling in my chest and then a huge chill starting at my feet and came all the way up to my head. Elder Holland did something like "Those of you who have struggle turn to the Lord and trust he will help. To repent of the sins we commit and never turn back and that every General Conference talk is from the Lord." He said something like that when i had my little conformation. I knew that God was showing me that he was listening and had answered me and I knew that i didn't need to worry about that he had forgiven me. He heard my plea! From this experience that just happened yesterday has given me a motivation. I can now teach about Repentance, the holy ghost, enduring to the end and that the Lord answers prayers. He doesn't forget us our reason for it may be the wrong way and not willing to act on our answers. If we ask in a way where it is for our benefit and not to show our faith he won't answer us. It makes more sense if we just pray about things that have not real impact on us. I am learning so much and i hope to be able to continue!

I hope you  all have a great week! Congratulations to Katie and Josh! i wish i could be their. I hope this experience is an experience of  lifetime.

Love y'all!

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Sister Tayler Farr

The True Meaning of "Agency"

Hey Y'all,

So this week has given me the true meaning of Agency and what Heavenly Father thinks and feels when we don't follow him and choose wrongly.

On Monday we had a great lesson with one of our investigators we is really ready for baptism but has family who is against it and is really holding her back. We talked about Faith and answered some of her questions about family home evening and prayer. I could see we really uplifted her and helped her feel more confident and tonight we will teach her the Gospel of Jesus Christ and focus on Baptism.

Tuesday There was a lot of snow and got stuck inside and boy snow in NC is bad. Everything is closed. Really only Wal-mart is open and hospitals or whatever. We tried to go tracting but really it was kind of dangerous. In a place like NC when snow isn't common not everyone knows how to drive in it. We mostly had studies and updated the map. I fell asleep reading talks and that wasn't so smart because was sitting at my desk.

Wednesday we were able to go out during the afternoon, but were able to have district meeting. we got a lot of new elders and a sister in our area and lots of great workers. Of course though when we got home because of the snow lots of canceling but the stake was planning to have food orders from the bishop store house and so we decided to help with that since it was last minute and probably not enough help. Really since everything was already closed we had lots of helpers and finished about an hour normal than usual. It was very touching to see all the volunteers and the leader of the orders were very touched. Our ride home (Stake relief society presidency) was so happy and felt the spirit there as we all worked together. It was great!

Friday was great we had another lesson with our newest investigator and taught her the restoration. She was kind of hesitant on the fact Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We told her that without that experience we wouldn't have the Book of Mormon she said she would read it. I was able to commit her to baptism. I was scared but i asked her f she would pray and read the Book of Mormon and found out for herself that it was true if she would be baptized she said yes if she found that it was true. I had to say it twice but it went well and we both left with a smile. We invited her to church and she said she would have to come next week. It was great! That kind of all changed when we got a text from her on Saturday night and said that she did what we said and she got her answer that she should stick with what she has. I was so bummed. she was really progressing and we were willing to paint and to give her everything like she said she needed and to show her what she needed and may be looking for. Of course my reaction was maybe i shouldn't have committed her to be baptized and that doing so scared her. I seriously am understanding the importance of what Agency is. I want to grab her shoulders and shake her and say you have found it stop doubting and just act on it. Increase that faith you are starting to develop. But that wouldn't be very Christ like!!!!

Another sad outcome of a good lesson was when we went to contact one of our referrals who asked for a bible. We taught her the Restoration. We planned to teach the Plan of Salvation. But we felt that we needed to change it when we got their. I was kind of freaked as since we had planned and practiced, but it went well and the spirit was so strong. She even recognized the spirit and said she felt it and that everything we said was true but she didn't feel like she wanted to change and that her and her family wasn't ready for her to make changes in her life again (sober for 10 years from being a drug addict and other temptations). Again we were bummed. I don't think we will give up. we probably just need to get our foot in the door more.

Saturday we tracted all day and finally had some sun.

Overall this week was very saddening. We had good lessons but bad outcomes. I can see the impact of Agency and why it's so important for us to use it for our own benefit and to learn. We never know what our choices really do for us until we have the outcome. The new sisters we taught decided to go a different way for now. I don't think that they have completely given up on the church and neither will we give up. We are to invite all to come unto Christ. We still have yet to complete it. Yes, Agency has made me hate it this week. But God gave it to us so that we can learn and develop what we come here to do. I may not know if God is preparing others who need it now or in a week. All i have to do is open my mouth and give what God wants for me to say. I am his representative and if he is going to trust me i have to at least keep trying and keep testifying. I hope y'all can have your own missionary experiences. I hope y'all now that this is where i want to be and i am so glad that i get to continue to help and enlighten the people of North Carolina. Some things i am still afraid of but everyday i know i am getting better. Everyday i am feeling the love of Christ and love from all of you. I never knew how hard this would be, but also never knew how enjoyable and uplifting it is to learn and be in this stage in my life. I get to pray to my Heavenly Father 10+ a day and learn to teach the gospel and the teachings my family and I have come to love. I am here because i know what it brings and some are searching for it and i just haven't found them yet. I might have times where i want to give up but from others who have given me courage i am able to keep moving. Thank you family and friends for the support and love you give me and the excitement you show to me and to the experiences i am having and i can't wait to share them with y'all. I want more experiences though! I hope y'all have a great week and lets all pray for no more snow. I have heard North Carolina Spring is the best!

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Sister Tayler Farr

We Work alongside the Prophet and Apostles

Hey Y'all!

This week has become the new best and very favorite week. (i pretty sure it will change again). We had an apostles come and talk to us. It was amazing. Also we had our first transfer training! wait what? I HAVE SURVIVED MY FIRST TRANSFER! Time is going so very fast and i have been told from missionaries going home that its like a blink of an eye. That kind of scares me.

Well, this week was crazy. We had lots of meeting and lots of snow. I loved the snow, but like most of you know my family has ADD and ADHD running in our blood and snow n North Carolina means staying indoors until the snow is gone. Its just so completely cold and you don't want to go outside. when we could go outside though it took us 10 minutes just to get out of our apartment complex. (mostly because my companion is from Arizona). I got to teach my companion how to drive in the snow! Pretty funny telling members about that!

We had a great transfer training and thankfully i had been praying for confidence and reassurance for the meeting so i wouldn't dread the whole meeting and luckily i learned and enjoyed all the lessons and role plays we did at the meeting. The president would teach then each of the assistants and then Sister Bernhisel twice. They all did an amazing job and i got a lot out of it. My prayer helped with that of course. It was such a tender mercy.

The next day we had to wake up at 4:30 and be at the Fuquay  sisters and be at the church building by 7:15 for one of the sisters for a choir practice who is going home on Tuesday. we just sat around till about 8:15 and then we took a picture with Elder Christofferson. It was so amazing and can't wait to get the picture. We all lined up after and shook his hand and two other members of the seventy. I just feel over. It was like holding hands with a movie star. It was God's movie star and he looked at me with love and i knew he was proud of the choice i made of coming on a mission. We then hear from each of the seventies and one of their wives and then heard from Elder Christofferson. He talked about the Holy Ghost and revelation. He then opened it up for questions we had and he answered. Really everything he said was absolutely amazing but the one thing he said that i hope to never forget is that he said that we as missionaries are working alongside the Prophet and his Apostles and the other leaders of our church. That just about killed me! How cool is that we are considered to working alongside the Prophet of God. But now that i think of it it makes sense. We are doing missionary work and so are they. It was just so touching and motivating to hear that.

We sadly didn't get much teaching and preslyliting done this week due to all the meetings and the snow, but we did have the car which was very helpful and taught a new investigator. (one we had track ting to last week). We wanted someone from the ward to come with us and couldn't think of who to bring or ask. We knew she was a baptist! We could only think of one person but she is a talker and thought that it may not go well but Sister Behrmann just said lets see how it goes. I can now say how much my trainer can recognize a prompting and act it. She was so meant to come! We were able to see that they both are so alike. The sister went through exactly what she is going through about the idea of how the Baptist church runs and the way everything is and she feels like she needs something more and that she feels that she actually belongs. While we were talking they both burst into a "hallelujah prayer and it seriously scared me. I didn't see it coming! They both shared bible scriptures that they loved and it was perfect way we got to talk about the Book of Mormon. We all read to her our favorite scriptures from it and the Moroni 10:3-5 scripture and bore our testimony focusing on the idea that it as answered multiple questions and doubt. We asked her if she would read it and she was so enthusiastic saying yes and held onto like she was holding her life in her hands. She even said she would start as soon as we left. We set up an appointment for next week and for a time to give her some service. Wow! another great tender mercy. God's hand was in this and the spirit was so strong. I even felt that she is someone who will be baptized. I have never been so uplifted!!! so happy!

Well, i am running out of time and i had to shorten my letter but i will write this experience in my journal. I never want to forget the feeling I had when we were there. Till next week! Have a great week Y'all! I just realized that when in email next it will be March! Crazy! :)

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Sister Tayler Farr

8 year old Baptism's are so cute!

Hey Y'all,

Another Great week and full of craziness. I have had a crazy week mostly because i have tried really hard to put myself in new situations where i can grow and we did a lot of tracting. I hate it! it is the scariest thing ever. We did however have a lot of people let us in because of the cold.- I was wearing short-sleeves and they all thought i was crazy. It was a Colorado day. North Carolinians would probably hate Colorado weather!!!! LOL! I did learn that how much i hate tracting it can be effective. We found someone to do service for painting her home and possibly teach her. We talked with a older lady who wanted to come to church and someone who was lookng for a new change and possibly would give us a call. It was mind blowing, really scary, but amazing. I didn't get to say a lot but i felt the spirit so much and i know he helped me. I would walk up strangers porches and whisper to myself of Lord i am trusting you please help us and particularly me. :) I knew he anwsered me.

Your probably all wondering what any of this has to do with my title that i have for this week. We didn't the car and the week didn't go so well we had a lot of appointments fall through and our investigators wouldn't keep commitments so we were already lost with what to do. We had dinner with a family that was having there daughters baptism and asked if we were going. We said yes and they said to invite our investigators and less active. We said we would. Sunday comes around and we didn't have anyone come. It was however one of the coolest and most spiritual baptisms ever that i have attended. Their were two girls who got baptized together. One of the girls had a family member pass away and so they had to reschedule and so they got to do it together. They both were so beautiful. The major thing that surprised me was that i had mentioned that i my family have always broughten a Book Of Mromon and had those who attended to write a little message in it so they could see who came and it would be something they coukld always look back at. THey didn't thnk they could get one before but they did. She kind of changed it around to we would mark our favorite scrptures and then write a small testimony in it. What was a great idea. The moment that surprised me the most was after the girls were baptized and getting dressed they held a testimony meeting for those who were waiting. It was amazing greatest idea. Not a lot was said or many people but i was a great thing to pass the waiting time. I think though the greatest thing that made me love this sweet little baptism was the songs the lessons and the way the two 8 year old girls treated each other they held hands hugged and were so excited and had a beautiful smile on their face. It made t hard to not want to think of my own baptism and how i wished i had wrote down about it and what i was feeling. Thankfully the primary president (which was one of the girls mom) said to write down this experience so they can always remember this day. I thought of ways and things that could help our investigators to get to this point and be baptized and all i could think of was they should be here and mayber they would want this experince for themsleves. I also thought we need to talk more about the blessing of baptism and the Holy Ghost.

I love how strong the spirit is during a baptism. I hope that i can help our investigators to get to this point. I loved my baptism and know how important it is and i hope they can see the same. I know now that i need to testify of my own expeirnce and testify of the blessings and allow them to decide that this is what they should do. What a beautful Sunday and i love everything i am learning.

This week is going to be great and is the last of the transfer. Luckily, i still have 6 more weeks of training. I don't want to leave this wondeful ward. I was spoiled!!!!! Till next week y'all!!!!

Sister Tayler Farr

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Sister Tayler Farr 
 
 

Satan Is Really Getting on my Nerves

TEMPLE!!!

Hey Y'all,

So This week has been very intense!!! I was sick and also very discouraged. It didn't help that i had interviews with President Bernhisel and didn't feel well enough prepared. I don't think it went very well. I talked to fast and he keep asking if anything was bothering me and i keep saying i was fine! I wan't fine i have allowed Satan to take me and use my thoughts to discourage my progress.

My week started with my cold kicking into high gear and it was probably caused by stress. My companion didn't know how to help me and she was getting better. We didn't really have the best success our lesson this week didn't go as well or as planned. Our other Investigators are keeping commitments and i am allowing my failure this week get the best of me. I am ready to kick Satan in the face and tell him to back off. I have found myself praying harder and harder and reading and pondering more trying to get myself back to where i want to be. I have been to embarrassed to ask for help from my companion and finally she wouldn't take my answer as to that "I am Fine." I read an article this week from Elder Bednar which is required to read for my training. He talks about that we as a missionary have to understand that serve and represent Jesus Christ, need to be worth, treasure up the words of eternal life, understand that the Holy Ghost is the ultimate and true teacher, and that teaching is much more than just talking and telling. Can you guess what i thought of when i read this talk. I said to myself- Am i really worthy to be here? Am i being a burden on the people i teach and not helping feel of the Holy Ghost? Do i really have what it takes to be a missionary? Am I improving and why can't i teach like Sister Behrmann? Oh my gosh now i can see how stupid i am in thinking this and questioning myself! I have the best companion ever and she has helped me answer my doubting questions. I have been able to have great experience the same day that i have felt this terrible saddening feelings.

I have really seen what the Atonement has done for me! I know that i am not perfect and that i will never be perfect in this life or the next if i don't allow myself to learn from this experience and any experience. Who says i'm not a teacher or ever going to be a teacher like Sister Behrmann or other missionaries. I'm only in TRAINING i'n training to be a good missionary and to make the mistakes now. I am not allowing Christ sacrifice to able me to understand the bigger picture. Yesterday, we had our investigator at church and have a lesson with another and now. They are starting to progress and i am not helping them by being discouraged and blocking the spirit to be present when i am being negative. I have had great experience and i am improving everyday even if i don't see. My companion has told me i am. I am understanding things more and i am learning to teach simply.

Boberry Bisquit from Bojangles

the food of the south!!!

I have had small moments this week where everything that has been hard as been later been a slap in the face and where i have been able to kick Satan in the face. I have been able to have experiences that make my short comings not matter because i can see that i am helping those i come in contact with. Just when i had that feeling of not being worthy we met a lady who is has been inactive and wants to come back but doesn't feel worthy because of her past sins. I was not able to fully help her because i had not before allowed the spirit to be their because i was not prepared to allow it to be present. But once i started to cry with her and feel the same sadness she had been feeling i was able to help her know that God sent us to her and we are going to help her know that God is going to love her no matter what. The spirit was so strong and i know she felt it. We are seeing her again on Wednesday and she asked to come back.

This entire week i have had this same kind of experiences When i was having doubt i read my Patriarchal Blessing, letters from home and a written letter from Mekena and Kory. I read and read the scriptures and found perfect ones to how i was feeling i had opportunities to serve members of the ward.

Y'all this week i have come closer to the real meaning of the Atonement. This weeks doubts and questioning won't be the last and i might have different struggles but i know that since someone loved me enough to die for me i can be blessed with comfort and trusted to help others. I have met people who have given knowledge of things i have never thought of and i know that i will have many more. I promise all that you can feel of that love i felt this week if you simply have the faith that God is going to help and guide you. We are his children and he loves us. I hope your week is great and with many tender mercies! Till next Monday! Love you all! :)

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Sister Tayler Farr

Following the Prompting of the Spirit

Hey Y'all,

This week has been great! I can't believe i have been on my mission for 1 month! Where has the time gone!! (not that far yet). I have seen already the impact the spirit has on being a missionary. Its crazy! This week i have had a harder time with being homesick and thoughts of doubt. It scared me and i could see that i was focusing on things that i shouldn't be focusing on. It made me mad. It made me pray harder and i started saying them out loud or whisper them so  could really hear and be sincere when i would pray and not sound like i was asking to much. I even tried being more grateful in my prayers and that really helped. I noticed my thoughts and spiritual moments were increasing and i felt the spirit more and was more open to recognizing that the spirit was there. More on that later! :)

This week started out with Zone conference on Tuesday! I have never done so many role plays in my life and thought that i was going to rip my hair out, but they weren't actually to bad once i just opened my mouth. Ha-ha. I have learned that the president kind of intimidates me a little and when he asked me to read a scripture i was shaking so bad!!! It was sad!! I was also sick and my head was full of air and so answering questions was not happening and so i was just in the back trying not to get called on. It was like the first day of school again. Other than me being weird it was great. I love the assistants and the Sister training leaders and the zone and district leaders. They all did a great job teaching but i especially loved the Assistants. Their are two sets of assistants, but the  companionship who i met on my first day in NC was the best. You could tell that they put a lot of work into the lesson and really prayed about what we needed to be taught. The spirit was definitely present.  They started the lesson out with one of the Elders bearing his testimony of Jesus Christ and then used what he said as a start of point in how Jesus Christ is our center on everything we do as a missionary. It was very good. I also loved sister Bernhisel's lesson on how we are as teachers. (she got her information in the January 2015 ensign on the talk on teacher ought to be from the general Sunday school presidency- read it) She talked about that we need to ask inspiring questions and to listen before we say anything or think to say anything (i struggle with that). Also to have them testify through the questions you ask so they can see that they do believe and do feel the spirit. She was amazing! My first Zone conference was great but i thought it would never end. It felt like the MTC but without the breaks every hour.

My week has been full of spiritual experiences. It started when we had companion study and was reading in preach my gospel n how to find people. I have been struggling with the idea that i don't need to worry about not understanding everything and knowing everything i just need to open my mouth and testify or allow the spirit to use me and i will find people to teach. We read in the Doctrine and Covenants and it said something like this. "Try not to obtain my word but to trust in me and i will give you words to say." When i read that it freaked me and out and I had this overwhelming feeling and i started to scary cry. My companion didn't know what to do with me. I quickly ran to our room and i prayed to Heavenly Father and thanking him for my answer. My next spiritual experience this week was when we visited a family in the ward and the daughter told us that she was in a car accident and that she was in a little pain only because when she and the other car hit she got all tense and was dealing with the pain. We talked about Grace from the talk "His Grace is Sufficient" (which is also another thing you should read) talking about that through the grace of the Lord we can do anything and keep failing but never stop trying. To never let a trail stop us from using the atonement and give up. They loved it and then two days latter we asked if the mom wanted to go with us on a lesson and she sad she couldn't because her daughter is in the hospital and has been diagnosed with Leukemia. We were both freaking out and were trying to know what to do and how we could help her and the family. The ward found out and we had millions in the ward come together to try and help them. They started a Facebook thing where everyone would wear orange and then post it on Facebook. It was crazy and everyone was doing it who could. She was told that it wasn't as severe as they thought but she would never be able to have kids and always have to be careful with the medicine of which she would always have to take. Yesterday at church EVERYONE came wearing some kind of orange and lots of love was shone. She was uplifted and you could see she was grateful for the love and strength we all gave her. Her mother bore her testimony and thanked everyone for the support. It was the best Sunday ever. I was glad that we gave that talk so that she could have that in her mind as she was going through this. Even the idea that she had an accident as bad as it was but that she was able to find the problem and get the help from the doctors. It could be worse later if they never found it. God really does make everything happen for a reason. (should be the title). My last spiritual experience for the week was on Saturday when we went to dinner with a single sister and talked about her brother who has Alzheimer and we talked about the situation and i just kept my mouth shut and boy that was stupid we went through dinner and i kept having this thought of "ask her about her brother." " continued to answer myself with it was none of my business." Finally we finished our dinner and desert and talked about her questions about the temple and then i got the prompting again. We started to clean the table and i just blurred "When was your brother diagnosed?" She hesitated for a minute and then she told us about her brothers story but talked about his conversion story. To tell a long story short. He already was getting worse but as the missionaries taught him he was able to learn the gospel and get baptized and then after he was baptized and was given the Holy Ghost he then got worse and he had to go to a Assisted living. I told her that was Gods way of letting receive the gospel in this life and he did through her. I told her that my family has been working with people like this for a long time and told her that  have worked with them and what wonderful people they are. I even told her i think Heavenly Father is letting him be like this because he is allowing him to show her that his time is coming and god is making it easier for the both of them. She told me that he only remembers being a child sometimes and that he s happy when he talks about that. Or when i visit him that's all he wants to talk about or something like that. I told her Heavenly Father wants you both to know he is allowing his illness to carry you both because he isn't suffering like he would if he had cancer or was in pain. He may not understand why he may get confused but that i see that god is allowing her to see him as a little child and is showing her that god is getting ready to take him but doing it in a way that she and him can deal with.

Well, i was freaking out and thought she was going to yell at me but we just stood their and watched her process what i had said. she then smiled and said i never thought of it that way. She then hugged me and thanked me for what i had said. I felt like i was saying something that didn't make sense. But i saw the peace of what i said helped her.

My week has been full of Heavenly Father and Christ's hand in my life and i am so grateful for the experiences i have received and have been able to grow from. Hope you have a great week and full of the Lords hand in guiding you! Till next Monday Love You all!

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Sister Tayler Farr