Hey Y'all,
This week has been great! I can't believe i have been
on my mission for 1 month! Where has the time gone!! (not that far yet). I have
seen already the impact the spirit has on being a missionary. Its crazy! This
week i have had a harder time with being homesick and thoughts of doubt. It
scared me and i could see that i was focusing on things that i shouldn't be
focusing on. It made me mad. It made me pray harder and i started saying them
out loud or whisper them so could really hear and be sincere when i would
pray and not sound like i was asking to much. I even tried being more grateful
in my prayers and that really helped. I noticed my thoughts and spiritual
moments were increasing and i felt the spirit more and was more open to
recognizing that the spirit was there. More on that later! :)
This week started out with Zone conference on
Tuesday! I have never done so many role plays in my life and thought that i was
going to rip my hair out, but they weren't actually to bad once i just opened
my mouth. Ha-ha. I have learned that the president kind of intimidates me a
little and when he asked me to read a scripture i was shaking so bad!!! It was
sad!! I was also sick and my head was full of air and so answering questions
was not happening and so i was just in the back trying not to get called on. It
was like the first day of school again. Other than me being weird it was great.
I love the assistants and the Sister training leaders and the zone and district
leaders. They all did a great job teaching but i especially loved the
Assistants. Their are two sets of assistants, but the companionship who i
met on my first day in NC was the best. You could tell that they put a lot of
work into the lesson and really prayed about what we needed to be taught. The
spirit was definitely present. They started the lesson out with one of
the Elders bearing his testimony of Jesus Christ and then used what he said as
a start of point in how Jesus Christ is our center on everything we do as a
missionary. It was very good. I also loved sister Bernhisel's lesson on how we
are as teachers. (she got her information in the January 2015 ensign on the
talk on teacher ought to be from the general Sunday school presidency- read it)
She talked about that we need to ask inspiring questions and to listen before
we say anything or think to say anything (i struggle with that). Also to have
them testify through the questions you ask so they can see that they do believe
and do feel the spirit. She was amazing! My first Zone conference was great but
i thought it would never end. It felt like the MTC but without the breaks every
hour.
My week has been full of spiritual
experiences. It started when we had companion study and was reading in preach
my gospel n how to find people. I have been struggling with the idea that i
don't need to worry about not understanding everything and knowing everything i
just need to open my mouth and testify or allow the spirit to use me and i will
find people to teach. We read in the Doctrine and Covenants and it said
something like this. "Try not to obtain my word but to trust in me and i
will give you words to say." When i read that it freaked me and out and I
had this overwhelming feeling and i started to scary cry. My companion didn't
know what to do with me. I quickly ran to our room and i prayed to Heavenly
Father and thanking him for my answer. My next spiritual experience this week
was when we visited a family in the ward and the daughter told us that she was
in a car accident and that she was in a little pain only because when she and
the other car hit she got all tense and was dealing with the pain. We talked
about Grace from the talk "His Grace is Sufficient" (which is also
another thing you should read) talking about that through the grace of the Lord
we can do anything and keep failing but never stop trying. To never let a trail
stop us from using the atonement and give up. They loved it and then two days latter
we asked if the mom wanted to go with us on a lesson and she sad she couldn't
because her daughter is in the hospital and has been diagnosed with Leukemia.
We were both freaking out and were trying to know what to do and how we could
help her and the family. The ward found out and we had millions in the ward
come together to try and help them. They started a Facebook thing where
everyone would wear orange and then post it on Facebook. It was crazy and
everyone was doing it who could. She was told that it wasn't as severe as they
thought but she would never be able to have kids and always have to be careful
with the medicine of which she would always have to take. Yesterday at church
EVERYONE came wearing some kind of orange and lots of love was shone. She was
uplifted and you could see she was grateful for the love and strength we all
gave her. Her mother bore her testimony and thanked everyone for the support.
It was the best Sunday ever. I was glad that we gave that talk so that she
could have that in her mind as she was going through this. Even the idea that
she had an accident as bad as it was but that she was able to find the problem
and get the help from the doctors. It could be worse later if they never found
it. God really does make everything happen for a reason. (should be the title).
My last spiritual experience for the week was on Saturday when we went to
dinner with a single sister and talked about her brother who has Alzheimer and
we talked about the situation and i just kept my mouth shut and boy that was
stupid we went through dinner and i kept having this thought of "ask her
about her brother." " continued to answer myself with it was none of
my business." Finally we finished our dinner and desert and talked about
her questions about the temple and then i got the prompting again. We started
to clean the table and i just blurred "When was your brother
diagnosed?" She hesitated for a minute and then she told us about her
brothers story but talked about his conversion story. To tell a long story
short. He already was getting worse but as the missionaries taught him he was
able to learn the gospel and get baptized and then after he was baptized and
was given the Holy Ghost he then got worse and he had to go to a Assisted
living. I told her that was Gods way of letting receive the gospel in this life
and he did through her. I told her that my family has been working with people
like this for a long time and told her that have worked with them and
what wonderful people they are. I even told her i think Heavenly Father is
letting him be like this because he is allowing him to show her that his time
is coming and god is making it easier for the both of them. She told me that he
only remembers being a child sometimes and that he s happy when he talks about
that. Or when i visit him that's all he wants to talk about or something like
that. I told her Heavenly Father wants you both to know he is allowing his
illness to carry you both because he isn't suffering like he would if he had
cancer or was in pain. He may not understand why he may get confused but that i
see that god is allowing her to see him as a little child and is showing her
that god is getting ready to take him but doing it in a way that she and him
can deal with.
Well, i was freaking out and thought
she was going to yell at me but we just stood their and watched her process
what i had said. she then smiled and said i never thought of it that way. She
then hugged me and thanked me for what i had said. I felt like i was saying
something that didn't make sense. But i saw the peace of what i said helped
her.
My week has been full of Heavenly Father
and Christ's hand in my life and i am so grateful for the experiences i have
received and have been able to grow from. Hope you have a great week and full
of the Lords hand in guiding you! Till next Monday Love You all!
--
Sister Tayler Farr
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